Okay, no more woe-is-me blog posts. Only sunshiney, happy family ones.

I wonder how many of you reading my last few posts have judged me?

There is only one person on this earth who knows what it is like to try to be a mother to my steapdaughter, and that is ME. NOBODY ELSE KNOWS WHAT IT IS LIKE. So please don't tell me how I should feel.

Yes, funnily enough, I did know that DH had a child when we got together. Did I know that, 8 years later, her mum would be happy for her to be living here practically all the time? No. Am I happy with that? Fuck no.

I see my friends with their happy little families...sure, their lives aren't perfect, but they aren't expected to love a child that they didn't give birth to.

Fuck, her own mother doesn't even like her. She doesn't give anyone any reason to like her. Her flute teacher told me that she, quote, 'doesn't go out of her way to make people like her'.

Maybe I'm a selfish bitch for wanting my kids to grow up in a household that isn't ruled by a spoilt brat.

I don't like doing this. I don't have a choice. Leaving my husband is not an option. I am allowed to feel like this.

She is a difficult child. Yes, the way I have been acting lately in response to her behaviour has not been acceptable. But fuck, I can only deal with it for so long until I crack.

I'm sick of having to justify my feelings to people. I wish they could come and be a fly on the wall and see the shit we have to put up with from her. She is a very, very difficult child- why the hell do you think her mother doesn't want her, yet is happy to have her 3 adult sons live at home? Yes, I realise her mum is an idiot.

This is the last blog post about her. It hurts too much to have people judge me.