Just in case anybody out there is worried about my sanity...

I had a very difficult session with my psychologist on Thursday. I cried pretty much the whole time and she said she couldn't see any of the Noelle that was there the previous week. She made me sign an agreement stating that I will not be alone with T until our next session. She said that she will have to report me if I ever lash out at T in a physical way again. Talk about a wake-up call.

My confidence is feeling shattered this week. I was so sure that I had my emotions under control, but not only did I engage in an argument with her, I hit her. Something I swore I would never do. The implications of it are too scary...what if her mum tells the police...I could have my blue card taken away, or worse...

Anyway, she is at her mum's for the weekend, and DH is off work for a while. He showed his boss the abusive text I sent him and his boss saw how serious things are.

I'm just so full of hate and I don't know how I got to this stage. It sucks.