Update

As you could probably tell, I wasn't in a great place when I last posted. I'm pleased to report that things are much better, today anyway.

Having an extremely unsettled baby makes a mum feel like she's on an emotional roller coaster. Some days I just feel so helpless and frustrated that I have terrible thoughts...like giving E back to the hospital and other things that make me feel really ashamed. And then other days are great- she'll gaze up at me and make cute little noises and kick her legs around and just be so cute that my heart feels like it will burst.

I've been very impatient with Jimmy and my stepdaughter and I feel crap about it so I have to make a conscious effort to chill out. It doesn't help that Jimmy is recovering from croup and has been fairly miserable.

We met Elizabeth's surgeon a couple of weeks ago and her operation is scheduled for the 6th of July. I'm not really nervous yet but I know I will be. The surgeon was really nice and didn't speak to us in 'medicalish' which was good. We were happy to find out that E won'tneed the 2nd operation, the palate repair, since her palate cleft really only goes through her gum. She will need a bone graft when she's 8-10 years old.

Today we went to see an orthodontist at the Royal Children's Hospital to find out about having E fitted with a plate, on the surgeon's advice. The lady was really nice and gave us heaps of information and we all decided that having a plate would be very benficial for our daughter. She had to have a mould made and handled it really well, even when the first one didn't work and it had to be done again. The plate is being made this week and she's having it fitted next Tuesday. I hope that the plate doesn't bother her too much.