This time last year, I was feeling completely euphoric, having just birthed my tiny baby girl.

It was a short, intense labour, and I was very surprised when I felt the urge to push and her head came out on that first push.

The first few days were a mixture of happiness, sadness and frustration. Happy that I had a baby girl that I would walk through fire to protect; sad that soon she would need to have surgery, and that Jimmy was no longer my only baby; and frustrated to have such early success with breastfeeding only to discover it was far too much hard for my tiny girl.


I spent a lot of time walking around the hospital carrying her in my pouch sling, and nurses, patients and visitors alike marvelled at how tiny she was.

Coming home was strange. Jimmy was very put out that I hadn't left the new arrival at the hospital, but after a couple of days of giving him lots of attention, he decided to forgive me and realised that 'Libadess' was here to stay.

The first few months were incredibly difficult. Looking back, I don't ever want to go through that again. I'm not a strong enough woman to cope with a baby who cries all the time, needs to be bottle fed, and has an older sibling who also needs my time. She didn't smile until she was four months old- I don't blame her, having such a grumpy, stressed mum.

She is still a very needy baby, and has cried more in the last 12 months than her brother has in his entire life. Some days it all gets a bit much, but I'm learning to deal with stress better.

She looks so completely different now compared to when she was born. Her surgeons really did an amazing job. You can't even tell she had a cleft lip.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get ready for her little party. Will post pics tonight.