I'm quite surprised by how difficult I have found being a mum to two kids under two. I guess it doesn't help that Elizabeth suffers terribly from wind and cries whenever she is awake, and that I still have to be a mum to my stepdaughter, because her mum sure as hell isn't going to.
I have had some really, really rough days. I had two complete meltdowns in less than a week, with one resulting in DH having to come home from work early. I've also gone berserk at T a few times.
Some days I feel like I'm just walking around in a daze. I feel terrible that Elizabeth is in pain and I can't do anything about it. I also feel that I need to harden up and stop whinging- plenty of people have more than 2 kids, and they cope fine! What's wrong with me? Oh and to add fuel to the fire, I've developed mastitis overnight so I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Thank god for my fantastic MIL who came over to do the laundry and watch the kids while I went to the doctor.
I really hate bottle feeding. Which is unfortunate, because that's the path we have to walk with Elizabeth. I find it so tedious and impersonal. I hate worrying about having enough bottles and teats, and getting up in the middle of the night to heat up bottles. The expressing doesn't worry me at all- it's easy with the great pump I have, and my body is producing litres of milk.
On a positive note, Elizabeth is growing before our very eyes. She is plumping up nicely on my lovely milk. I estimate that she is well over 3 kilos now; I'll take her to the CHN on Wednesday to get her weighed.
She really is the light of our lives. Everyone who meets her falls in love with her and I totally understand why. She has been spoiled with countless gifts, and already has a wardrobe to rival mine. She is just so tiny and precious, with the deepest blue eyes. Her brother and sister are completely smitten with her. Jimmy loves seeing her and gives her lots of kisses and says, "Hello Lizzie!"
Jimmy continues to make us laugh every day. He really is such a little comedian. His favourite sayings at the moment are "Stupid man", "See ya sucker", "Next time", "ABCD", "Number six", and many others. He loves talking, riding his trike around the house, colouring with his crayons, playing rough and tumble, running races, the Humpty Dumpty song, and reading. He is such a joy to be around and I can't believe that he will be two years old next week...my baby is growing up!
3 comments:
Elizabeth is so gorgeous. I can't wait to meet her in person.
Hugest hugs to you Noelle. Please go easy on yourself and whinge away. Whinge often and to anyone who will listen.
In the early days I used to call my breast pump H's evil twin because of all the hours of my time it took up.
So much love to you.
Oh my goodness honey she is growing quickly. You really are doing a wonderful job, even if an odd meltdown comes along. I think we all need to have those meltdowns to release that energy out, as there are few other outlets when you have got a newborn and no time or chance to do anything else for yourself. I know I had plenty especially when we had problems with Co crying from wind as well and wouldn't settle......but I don't have two other kids to juggle. All I can say is love, love, love to you and plenty of hugs!!!!
Oh wow she is getting bigger hehe good on you mommy with the breast milk.
It will get better hon, your doing the best you can and that's all anyone should expect.
HUGE HUG and I'm here to talk if you need me.
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